


No one would surrender to the Dread Pirate Tony

by KahunaBurger



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: AKA the Sue Nation, Awesome Tony Stark, Gen, I am snarky at fanon Wakanda, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Snark made fic, Wakanda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-26 02:43:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9858458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KahunaBurger/pseuds/KahunaBurger
Summary: Wakanda is the most technologically advanced nation in the world.Tony is still smiling.





	

The fugitive Avengers stood protectively in front of Wanda in the gardened courtyard where T’Challa had agreed to let Tony meet with them. Clint took a menacing step towards his former teammate. “You and Ross aren’t locking her up.”

“Of course we aren’t.” The Wakandans had scanned him for tech at their embassy before flying him in themselves and requested only that he give up his phone and wristwatch for the meeting. It was very much Tony fucking Stark before them rather than Ironman, but he still projected an amused confidence at the bristling former superheroes. “Individuals locking people up is kidnapping. I’m here on behalf of the International Criminal Court to bring Ms Maximoff to the Hague.”

“No.” Rogers was absolute in his tone. “T’Challa let you come here to talk, he’s not letting you take her to be given over for some sort of show trial and locked up or experimented on!”

“Not anything close to what will be happening and I don’t need King Kitty’s permission to deliver a warrant, or to leave his country - just to enter it.” He had a happy, carefree expression.

Sam snorted. “What, you think there’s remote controlled suits on their way here or something? I know you’re used to being the top dog in gadgets, but Wakanda is the most technologically advanced nation in the world. They could detect and disable them before they were a mile over the border.”

“Hmm, yes, that is true.”

Wanda spoke up for the first time. “Then why are you smiling?”

At that, Tony’s smile grew to a delighted grin, as if Wanda had given him the best present ever. “Because,” he replied in an oddly accented tone, “I know something you don’t know.”

“What’s that?” Steve asked in annoyed confusion even as Clint and Sam tensed in concern.

A tornado of movement suddenly surrounded them with what seemed to be sticks and rocks from the ground and a few objects the size of small birds which flew right at Wanda’s hands and face.

“I,” the inventor said cheerfully as red magic slid harmlessly off the larger pieces, “am not a nation.”

By the time he was done speaking, suits had formed around both his prisoner and himself and they launched into the open sky.

**Author's Note:**

> So I have a lot of FEELINGS about portrayals of technological levels and how societies advance and such, and Wakanda Just Bugs Me, especially in its fandom portrayal. Technology isn't some single measurement in which all forms and uses of tech advance together, and society is going to effect the directions (of which there are far more than "up") different techs advance in. 
> 
> There's also an interaction between the general progress of technology and the occasional DaVinci of our time, that most writers, in my opinion, tend to swing too far to the Great Man side, but fanon Wakanda takes way to the other side of inevitable societal progress. (Like a fic where the Wakandas were dismissive of the chance to examine the Ant Man suit because clearly physics breaking miniaturization was boring to them.)
> 
> Anyway, I just wanted to write Tony being able to get around Wakandan tech with a bit of advance planning because he is a freaking genius. If they knew exactly what he was bringing to the game, probably they'd be able to get one over on him as well. But the idea that Wakanda automagically trumps every other tech in the Marvel Universe is silly to me. 
> 
> Huh, this note may be longer than the fic. Maybe I should have made it a second chapter.
> 
> Edit : and the note is even longer! Due to a wave of harassment from anonymous trolls, who I played with for a while then got bored of, anon commenting is now turned off for this fic. I apologize for any non-trolls whose comments may be lost due to this.


End file.
